Old Beginnings

I'll be honest; it has been some time since I practiced regularly. My last regular lesson with Michael was in June, and after I got back from the monastery, I wasn't playing that much. I did play shakuhachi as part of the Zen Arts Ensemble with theToledo Zen Center in October. We performed at the Toledo Museum of Art and it was beautiful.

A number of things are coming around these days that are pulling me back to spend more time with the shakuhachi...

Although Christmas and New Years are often the peak of family get-togethers for the year, I take much of my seasonal joy from moments of quiet introspection. I guess it is my favorite part about winter. The world can become very quiet. That silence draws me back to the shakuhachi. When I am playing, the silences and in-breaths are as much of the moment as the notes, both hit and missed.

I have felt scrapped thin lately. Shakuhachi is a spiritually nourishing practice, and I need some of that right now.

My Zen community will be conducting its first Ango this winter. I don't know if art practice will be a part of it, but I will be making it part of my efforts.

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We are just finishing our recovery from flood damage in our basement from this past summer, and I have not found my Shoden Level 1 book, but I had some PDF's in my lesson book and I sat down to play today.

My breath is short, but it always was. It will take work. I don't expect to be where I left off, and I have not tested the full range I was working on last spring, but I was able to play my first 6 folk tunes with ease. I didn't miss any notes, but some parts were not as full as they could be and I am sure I was a little flat.

I keep good notes from my lessons, so I'll start there. In the new year I plan to start up lessons again with Michael on Skype.

My holiday project will be to record the songs I wrote this past year.

Here's to a wonderful holiday season.

Still Here

For those who may have been checking in, I am still here.  From August to mid October has been very challenging and I have been playing very little. (and hardly practicing at all).

torn calf
flooded basement
slow rennovations
difficult school year
blah blah blah

I am not done, nor giving up.  Energies have just been redirected lately.  I will be returning to lessons with Michael Gould shortly, and still plan to record my compositions from the summer. 

With so many balls int he air, it is hard to say exactly when this one will be in my hand.

Art Practice

I just got back from a month-long residency at Zen Mountain Monastery.  I did not have a lot of time to practice, but I did manage to spend some time in art practice doing some composition.

Over the next couple of weeks, I intend to record the two pieces that I wrote.

I began writing "Mountain Thunderstorm" during a thunderstorm while I sat in a cabin up the hill from the monastery.  The first few phrases grew out a call and answer that developed between me and the weather.

A few weeks later I wrote Hosan (during hosan).  Hosan is the "weekend" of the residential community at ZMM.  For 48 hours each week, the regular training schedule is suspended and each person determines how to spend their time and engage their practice.  There are specific rhythms at the start, middle and end of these days.  I sat with my experiences of these times and just let it come through.  This was challenging as most of the song is in Kan, and with less practice during the month, my stability in Kan is a bit off.

Now I settle back into regular practice as I begin to get ready to return to work and deal with some minor flood damage in my basement.

Honkyoku

I had another lesson with Michael tonight.  Side note:  being steeped in Japanese martial and Zen traditions, I don't know if I should call Michael by his name.  The dude is a Dai Shihan after all.  It is a strange thing in the West.  I have just as often run into people who avoid title as I have those who would be offended if they are not used.  Sometimes, I have encountered both perspectives from the same person.  Either way, he is my teacher, I am greatly appreciative of the time he takes to guide me.

Back on topic...

I know I have to practice more, but things are going well.  I am starting to use meri notes with both shading and half holing in more and more songs.  I am able to most of the tings he has me try, but I can sense that it would be even more productive if I had a lesson in person.  (someday)

We looked a bit at Etenraku but then began working on a honkyoku piece called Sanson no Yugure (Mt. Village at Dusk).

I echoed hom phrase by phrase.  In each phrase we stopped and discussed some of the unique stylistic elements that are not captured in the score.  It involved trills, vibrato, and other notations.  This is clearly something that would be ridiculous to try to learn properly without one on one guidance.

What is especially interesting are the notations in some of the phrases.  Rather than describing a technical detail, some describe a physical scene, or a moment in time that the phrase is trying to embody.  It is a very different approach to both playing and learning.

Since this was not on my usual lesson night, I have less than 2 weeks before I work with Michael again.

Practice practice.

Nothing Extraordinary

There is something happening in my shakuhachi playing and practice that feels very good lately.  Playing and taking lessons with Chikuzen has, in one way, become very ordinary.  I don't mean that I see nothing special in it, but rather that this instrument and this music is less and less soemthing new and exotic that I am doing.  More and more it is a part of my life and the life of my family.  There is a comfort and familiarity that allows for a natural focus on what I am doing. 

Lessons of late have focussed on stability and range.  Michael has been helping me tweek the position of the shakuhachi on my chin so that I get a fuller tone and so higher notes (and meri's) done get caught on the blowing edge.  I am after drills and warm ups, I am focussing much of my playing on parts 1, 2, and 4 of Etenraku Celebration Melody.

I have also been spending some time on the porch in the early morning with my Shakuhachi Yuu, a tea and the birds.  I sit quietly with birds and my tea for a time,a nd them I play call and answer with the different birds in my neighbourhood.  I try to match them, or play off of them, responding to what they give me.  It is a beautiful practice that has me jumping all over the place on the instrument as new birds come and go.

I highly recommend it.

Haul Blog

I made this one cool find a little while ago and I thought I'd share it.  I like to play while standing a lot of the time, but I didn't like having a music stand out in the living room,  nor was I fond of setting it up each time I wanted to play from a score.

And then...

During a trip to Toledo in March, Julie and I were looking at bamboo trays at Target, when we found this little iron cookbook stand.

It fit nicely up on the fireplace mantle and it look goods empty or with a book / score.  What I like best is that it is out of the way and at the right height.  It was very neat to find it at a place like Target, especially when it was not something I was looking for.

Kan

I had another lesson with Michael Gould this week.  He did not introduce any new material in terms of songs, we just worked on tone.  It proved to be a very important lesson in terms of developing my consistency in kan.

One of the most important things that Michael has been emphasizing is that there are many variables that affect tone and pitch.  Many of these are subtle, if not imperceptible. Mechanics such as the angle of the head, position of the jaw, the position of the flute on the chin, and posture take a long time to become "automatic" in terms of muscle memory.  Ultimately, they are not automatic.  Rather, the musician learns to feel their way around and through these variables.  Beyond the mechanical variables, tone can be affected by temperature, time of day, even what you had for supper.  Although there is a mechanical process to learn, it is not a matter of doing X, Y, and Z each time to make sure you get the sound you want.  You set out, knowing the variables (as best you can) and then you work with whatever the moment gives you.

Aikido is very much the same way.  It is a useful martial art for self defence, but if you practice shihonage and then think "okay, when I get attacked, I will do A and B, then C will happen", well you will disappointed.  When dealing with the subtle, we begin to get a sense of the light dusting of chaos that each moment is covered it.  Much can happen, so knowing with certainty what will happen is not possible.  But I digress.  (I always wanted to say that)

We played with some special notes in the higher register like U no San, and getting Ro kan to sound without the 4th hole.  Things like these gave an opportunity to feel the tones and overtones and work in the upper octave.  It was like Dad taking me for a drive around the neighbourhood before letting me go for a bike ride on my own.  Expand the edges to help make the inner parts more familiar.

Over the next 2 weeks I am going to be working a lot more on Etenraku.  I have not played the 1st shakuhachi part all of the way through sections 1 and 2 yet, but the tsu chu meri in the first section is providing a fun challenge.

The best beginner points that I had reinforced in this lesson are...

1.  Learning to follow the rhythm marks by slapping your knees (when not playing) or tapping your feet (when playing) is invaluable.  If you are a player who works with music with this type of notation, you need to know this.

2.  Practice with a tuner / metronome device is important.  

Although there were no new pieces added this week, I am tweaking my practice routine to focus better on what is in front of me right now.

I'll leave off with a video of my teacher playing my favourite pieces...

Sculpting a Life

One of the things that is truly marvelous about life, is that it is both short and long at the same time.  Moment to moment, we have a seemingly infinite opportunity to do good, grow, stagnate, ignore, love, create, or cry.  The measure of shortness is, as I see it, a reflection our perceptions of the unexplored, under-utilized and missed opportunities that the universe holds.  There is so much to do.

And yet, in a life, there is an equilibrium.  Push in on direction too much and there is strain and tension created.  Add something to the mix and there is a new equilibrium that must be found.

I lived almost four decades of life before I began to play the shakuhachi.  The flute entered my home for find children, careers, pets, and a rich fabric of life.  So where does it fit?

As romantic a notion as it may be to imagine practicing this instrument 1-2 hours or more every day, travelling to train with renowned teachers, it would be foolish in the context of my life.

Certainly, it is an instrument that requires a certain focus and attention to develop proficiency in, and I want to be able to do it justice.

I have never truly studied an instrument under a teacher's guidance.  I love what I do play, but there is a level of growth I would very much like to push beyond with the shakuhachi.

So, where does ti fit?

Like anything in my life, I am continually discovering the response to that.

Response.  Not answer.

Whenever I think I have an answer, it crumbles.  Sculpting this life is far too dynamic for something so concrete as an absolute, all-certain answer.

Lessons, Playing and Songs

Lessons.

I had another lesson with Chikusen last night.  I still take pause after each to wonder why I did not make lessons a priority earlier.  I continue to enjoy the process and I like making connection with other players.  There aren't any other players around where I live.  Or at least, I have not found them yet.

This week we talked abit more about rhythm, but spent most of our time on pitch adjustment.  Skype might not be as good as a live lesson, but it is dang near.  Michael was able to work with me on bell height, placement on chin, posture and emboucher to get my pitch higher.  I was able to reproduce it, but it will take practice until this become the new normal.

That made up most of the time, but we also returned to the point of blowing rather than aiming, and added a couple of new songs.

Playing.

The more I play, the more I play.  When I am playing songs, I spend most of my time playing the ones I am learning in my lessons.  They fill my head.  These songs of a culture and history I can barely taste, given the place and time of my birth.  And yet, they weave their way into my body.

When I improvise, I find that broader and broader possibilities manifest.  My fingers are learning landscape of the instrument.  More and more breath becomes fuel for its creative designs.  slowly the gap between myself and the instrument fades.  Sometimes, it is forgotten entirely.

Songs.

Hinomaru
Ouma no Oyako
Yuyake Koyake
Kutsu ga Naru
Sunayama
Hietsuki Bushi
Azatoya Yunta
Takeda no Komoreuta
Kyorei (first half)
Etenraku (shakuahchi #1, part 1 and 2)
**I am figuring out "Sally Garden", but am stuck at a point where I believe meri notes must be involved.

Mindful of Gain and Loss

Part of why I am enjoying the shakuhachi more and more lately is that I am getting better.  I am getting more consistent in hitting kan and I am more stable in that register than I used to be.  I am also learning new songs.  I like the fact that things are going well.

In terms of gain and loss, this can be difficult to navigate.  Invariably, things will get harder and if viewed as 'loss' it can be very discouraging.  Actually it is not a theoretical idea for me right now, I have run into something that could  be taken as a setback.

This week Michael worked with me on my embouchure.  We spent just about the entire 90 minute lesson on it.  He dropped a lot of information and images on me, and most of the time I tried to implement them, I lost the tone I was used to being able to produce.

He counselled me well on how to work with all of these changes.  They were not to be implemented or practiced all at once, but rather one at a time.  Their practice was separate from the skills involved in learning to play songs.  However, as I experiment with these aspects of the embouchure, it should inform and influence my current one.

Still, days followed where these concepts crept in (without being mastered), and caused me to lose tone on songs I can normally play.  This could be seen as a setback.  I like playing songs, and I like to be able to reproduce things I can do.  It feels good.  It would be far to easy to get frustrated and make an error.

Getting discouraged and not playing would be an error.

Ignoring what I have been taught and continuing on, clinging to what I already have would be an error.

It is a moment to practice trust.

Trust in myself.  

Trust in my teacher.

Trust in the process.

I have seen this type of trust function in the dojo and the zendo.  This trust does not produce rigid and blind obedience to a person or system.  This trust steals the reigns from the ego and guides the student to place that is free and dynamic.  A place that they ultimately take themselves.

Yuyake Koyake

The next instalment of me learning children's songs and folk melodies.

Art Practice

This summer, I am going to have the opportunity to spend a month in residence at Zen Mountain Monastery. In going to ZMM, I had to examine what I would be doing with art practice and body practice for that month. My current plan for art practice is focussed on shakuhachi. However, the only resource on Zen art practice that I have found is geared largely to visual media. So these next months I am exploring the process.

As a novice player, I have a smaller range on the instrument that I can play effectively with. But in that range, and around its edges, I will play like a child.

Right now I am working on composition. This is also good theory practice, as I am writing in traditional kinko notaiton. Again, I am staying within what I have learned thus far, but the depth is huge, even if the breadth is limited.

In a few months I am going to switch over to recording. Specifically recording improvisation.

The basic form for me right now is to sit for a few minutes and let the mind settle. Then I blow Ro for a few long breaths. At that point the paper comes out and I play with whatever phrases come up. In a honkyoku approach, each breath is my time signature. I endeavour to keep each phrase its own expression, but I also try to stay keenly aware how phrases are linked. The peice tells be when I am done.

I have completed my first piece in this process. It is called "Beginning". When I am sure my playing accurately reflects the way I entended it, I will record it and share it.

Ouma no Oyako

Kanfidence

Two big challenges seem to be at the surface these days.

1. Learning the melody of songs that I have never heard before, so that I can play them.

2. Smooth stability in Kan.

Neither skill is where I would like it to be, but both are progrssing and I am enjoying the process.

I am especially getting a kick out of the relative ease that is emerging in the the shift from ostsu to kan. It is making improv a lot more fun, and is giving me gateways into songs I could not play before.

Working on Sunayam has really helped with Kan, as most of it is in theat octave. I am hoping that increased breath lenght will come along soon and help out with the longer lines in the upper octaves.

I am going to try to make a point of doing some quick vids of the songs that I am practicing (like I did with Hinomaru). Just remember, I am not putting them up because I think I nailed it. They are a snapshot of a particular point in practice, and I intend to come back to them later on and redo them for comparison.

Weird Week

This week has been pretty hectic, and practicing has been hard. However, I got a little present on Saturday that might provide some more playing time. I sprained my big toe pretty badly at Aikido. I can't walk in a normal stride and I need to keep it elevated as much as possible while it heals. It will definitely slow me down, but it is a good motivation to practice more (both zazen and shakuhachi), plus I might get a bit caught up on some my computer based projects.

Here are some of the major things I have been trying to work on this week...

-meri notes
-scales using meri notes
-playing Hinomaru the moment I pick up the shakuhachi
-repeats, trills and flex drill in Kan
-meri notes in kan
-fingering scales smoothly ro Ro Otsu to Hi
-clapping out the rhythm and saying note names with songs

Sometimes I just tackles these things right away, since they are my biggest challenges at the moment. Other times I just follow my planned practice regime and address these things as they come up. Much of it has to do with time.

Also I am preparing to start working on playing shakuhachi as art practice for my Zen practice. This July I am going to be staying at Zen Mountain Monastery for a month, and I plan on using the shakuhachi as my art practice. I am limited in what I can do as a beginner, but in terms of art practice this is just more that I can work with.

Since Lent starts this Wednesday, I am going to use that as my platform for this. I like to do extra in Lent, rather than just giving things up (I do that too). If my reality resembles my plan even a little bit, I will be doing art practice at least 2 times a week.

The BBQ is over!

This week I was very disappointed to find that the primary shakuhachi forum on the internet has been closed.

It was run by pair of players which included Brian Ritchie, the base player of the Violent Femmes. The really disappointing part of it is that it shut suddenly. There was no warning, no discussion, and no opportunity for others to step up and take over the site. The originators had tired of it, so it was closed.

Something new will come along, but without the open forum to aid in planning and discussion, it will have to emerge from ashes.

The shakuhachi community is an amazing thing. As a novice player, I am certainly not an authority on this community, but here is what I do know:

-Compared to other instruments in the world, there really are not a lot of shakuhachi players.

-the shakuhachi community is spread out. Without avenues ont he internet there will no longer be a true sense of a global shakuhachi community.

-when people search out new things, they often turn to the internet, and there were new members to this forum every week.

In my brief time in this endeavour, I have been able to converse with, and seek advice from players from around the world. I have spoken to beginners and masters alike. Heck, my teacher lives 4.5 hours away by car! Thank goodness for Skype.

Now I know the forum was not perfect. There were fruitless veins that had to be closed within it, and just because a person starts something, they are not automatically obligated to keep it going, but Shakuhachi BBQ was a beautiful thing, and it seems like it could have been set free rather than killed.

Early Progress

I'll start off by repeating myself. I LOVE taking lessons. I enjoyed working on the instrument on my own, but as I progress under the guidance of Chikuzen, more and more of the instrument opens up to me.

Granted, I have only had a hand full of lessons, but the entire process is engaging and rewarding. A big part of why I like it is definitely because I am getting better faster, but there is more...

-Getting regular feed back and help
-connecting "face to face" with a teacher / player. There is no live community around me.
-having new material and challenges layed out for me by someone who has done it before.
-practicing and playing more regularly

I have no idea how far I can go with this process, but as long as I keep enjoying it in this way, I'll keep at it.

Hinomaru

Taking It In

A lot of the blogs that I read are full of self-confident, interpretive opinions.  Speaking from experience and some amount of wisdom, authors express their take on various events and topics.  The exceptional bloggers manage to maintain a sense of their relative perspective, and avoid coming across as a "know-it-all".  I am never more conscious of this than when I post to this blog.

Although I try to limit my blogging to expressions of my direct experience, the knowledge of the topic is a huge factor.  I am considerably less confident in my writing of this blog than I am when I publish AikiEssays.

Why this particular rant?  Now that I am working with a teacher, I am taking great enjoyment in being at the beginning of this thing.

I have been wandering in the woods in the dark of night.  Light or dark, I love the woods.  The sounds and smells hold me tightly.  The feeling of the space penetrates me.  Then, I am handed a lantern.  With this change, I am still in the woods, but I can put direction to my exploration.  I am no longer wandering in the dark.


The use of this blog is more like a personal log (without the star-date).  This my best expression of what is happening on this journey, and how it feels as I encounter it.

Carving a Well Worn Path

Last night I started my shakuhachi lessons with Michael Chikuzen Gould.  For non-shakuhachi people who wouldn't know, that's pretty cool.

One of the nice things about the shakuhachi community, is that many of the best players are online.  This also means that there are many good teachers online.  Add in the magic of things like Skype, and I was able enjoy a lesson right in my basement with Chikuzen, who operates out of Cleveland (I think).

Although I had one lesson with Chikuzen in 2009 via Skype, it was a stand alone technical lesson.  This time I am taking a series of lessons that can build on each other, and hopefully continue well after the series of lessons I currently have booked.

I have been enjoying playing shakuhachi, up to this point, despite not having a teacher.  I have found resources on the internet and I also got hold of Taniguchi Sensei's introductory book.  However, there is something that really appeals to me about working with a teacher.

Like in Zen and the martial arts, the work you have to do in music is your own.  You have to sit your own sits, take your own naps, do your own breakfalls and blow your own Ro.  Having a teacher to touch in with creates a sense that you will not get lost at sea.  They act as the shore that the sailor can see on the horizon.  They provide bearings, as well as instruction.

In Aikido, I get to see many new people come in and go through those initial steps of taking instruction and working with the teacher.  Although anyone can tell you what to do, a good teacher does not just order you around.  A good teacher teaches from the perspective of having walked that road before and watched others navigate those same obstacles.

I look forward to this process, discovering the well worn path before me.

Scrounging

I know my weaknesses.  I tend to do too many things.  They are good things, but they divide up my resources too much sometimes.  Thus, although my family and I are stable financially, I am just not in the spot at this time in the year to put a lot of money up front for shakuhachi lessons. 

The result is that I will be setting out to save.

I have put together money for a few lessons from Chikuzen on Skype and should be setting that up sometime in the next two weeks.

Despite my enthusiasm, I must not forget to temper it with my realities.

Onward...

Resolutions for 2011

New Years Day is a big day for me in general.  Plans, goals and resolutions that have been forming over the last month finish crystallizing and hopefully, point out a path that I will take in the new year.

Being new to the shakuhachi, there are as many goals as resolutions.  Here we go...

In 2011, I resolve to...

Play every day. (Barring sesshin and retreats)
Practice 5 days a week.
Keep clear the distinction between playing and practicing
Take lessons
Find stability in Kan
Develop art practice with shakuhachi

Goals (that may or may not be reasonable)


Learn my first piece of Honkyoku
Play at the top of Mt. Tremper
Play at my dojo's O-soji.

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New Years is a significant day for me in terms of Shakuhachi.  In 2008, I was given a Tai Hei 2.1 by my friend Walt, who was moving out to BC.  On New Year's day 2009, Walt committed suicide.  Today, I will play my 2.1 for him.  I can't play Tamuke yet, but I play for his memory, and in appreciation for the beauty that this instrument has brought into my life.